Miscellaneous Jokes

The Idiot and the Executive  (# 322)

An unemployed young man saw a Help Wanted sign outside a large convention center. He went in an applied for the job.

“We have a major business convention tomorrow – some of the most important executives in the world will be coming! I need someone who will take care of security, check the invitations, give directions, etc. You will stand at the front door. Can you do it?” said the manager.

“Oh, YES SIR!” said the young man.

The following night the manager gave final instructions.

“You need to be paying attention! I need your full cooperation! You HAVE to do this job correctly! I have put these directions on this paper!” he said, handing it to the young man. “Remember! The guests remain on the convention floor! The rest of the center is being used! And keep things clean! And the floor is slippery! Be careful! And you are SECURITY! So keep order!”

“Yes, SIR!” said the young man enthusiastically.

An hour later, the convention was going well and the manager was greeting the executives. Then he heard something strange. He went outside and his mouth dropped open in shock. He saw a very distinguished gentleman, an impeccably dressed, handsome and dignified city executive in a $3,000 navy blue pinstriped business suit, carefully knotted red silk tie, starched white shirt, hundred dollar haircut and silver cufflinks. However, this corporate executive was barefoot! In addition, he was down on all fours and cleaning the floor with a scrub brush!

The young man, now the security guard and greeter, was yelling orders and in one hand he held a pair of highly polished Italian leather loafers. In the other he held a pair of black silk business socks.

“Nice job!” snapped the young man, and patted the soles of the executive’s bare feet. The executive shuddered.

The manager ran over to the businessman and helped him up. The executive’s face was beet red with anger and humiliation.

“You will be SUED! This is an outrage! He pushed me down and pulled these right off my feet! Give me those! He told me to start scrubbing or he would use his gun!” yelled the executive, and he grabbed his shiny expensive shoes and socks from the young man.

“What are you doing?!” shouted the manager, in shock. “How dare you?!”

The young man looked bewildered.

“But I’m just following directions, sir! You said: Keep things clean! Keep order!”

The manager yelled: “He was BAREFOOT on ALL FOURS!”


Submitted by: JP, Chicago, IL

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